WHAT DO I DO WITH IT?

The winds came and the cards gave. Now I'm in the clear and my mind and eyes are open. I can now see. The picture is already put up. I finally get to the clearness my eyes are open n no matter how much i want to go blind i cant so i sit in mental agony. Asking myself what to do with it now that i know. I jus wanna crawl under a rock somewhere and jus disappear. Vanish. Become traceless. All those words that mean no longer exist. U ask y? I will tell you. Better yet i will show you. Don close your eyes. Just watch why I'm on a downward spiral towards crushvile. 10 thousand foot drop got nothing on this fall. I have the picture with me.it hounts me. It stalks me. It mocks me. It openly displays itself for me to see it and to know i cant do anything to it. I have it etched in my mind. I have it on my eye lids when they shut to sleep.I have it like a bad tatoo that cant come off. I have it when i eat. I have it when i walk. I have it when in the shower. Even when i look. All i see is it takin over my sanity. Now you see it now you feel it. You tell me WHAT DO I DO WITH IT?

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Jumping Hoops

To please we do all we can and more. To be forgiven we do all imaginable and unimaginable. To be loved we go in and out of our way. To prove our love we do the same. The sad part is that the effort may go unnoticed. No matter how much we try. Is it worth it to jump the hoops? When will it stop? When will we start doing things with no hoops to jump through first? But if this is what we have to do to stop jumping hoops, then we have no choice but to jump all the hoops there is. And hope all the effort doesn't go unnoticed a minute longer.